Romancing Your Face into a Nice Shave

Alex Bill, in his article for Ohio University's The Post, deftly compares Pogonotrophy, the art of beard shaping, with taking your face out on a date. As he very well puts it:
As a man, you will have hair that insists on growing out of your face long after it refuses to grow out of your head. Embrace this; stop treating shaving as a chore and start enjoying it.
If it only were this easy with other things in life, like jury duty or ab crunches...